Alita Brydon on why bad dates make for amazing stories

When a date goes horribly wrong, it can be soul-crushing. Outrage-inducing. A reason to give up entirely. But for Alita Brydon, going on bad dates was a source of inspiration – one that she used to create a create a vibrant, supportive community who have come together to laugh, rage and commiserate over the outrageous bad dates they’ve lived through. 

With stories shared anonymously and participants deidentified, Bad Dates of Melbourne has become the go-to safe space for sharing the highs and lows of terrible dates. 

Ahead of hosting This Is Why I’m Single, where some of Australia’s top comics relive their most disastrous dating stories live on stage at State Library Victoria, Brydon shares dating tips, trends and what motivated her to write her own dating bible.  

For those not familiar, what is Bad Dates of Melbourne?
Bad Dates of Melbourne is a Facebook and Instagram page where I share anonymous, real life bad date stories from across Melbourne (and sometimes the world). Most of the stories published are funny and detail cringeworthy, gross or outrageous bad dates – but sometimes the stories are touching or get into the serious side of dating, like safety, respect, sexual health and consent. All genders are encouraged to participate, although there’s a large focus on women’s experiences.

Was there a particular catalyst or incident that inspired you to start it? 
For years, I shared my bad date stories with my friends, and their reaction was, ‘You need to do something with these, they’re too good!’ One day I had a lightning bolt moment: bad date stories are bite-sized, shareable and funny – perfect content for social media. I set up the Bad Dates of Melbourne Facebook Page on a whim and made a commitment to post once a day with a meme, story or anecdote. I had no idea of how popular it would become, and how quickly. By about 10 days in, it had been seen by over a million people. I had little experience in social media at the time – but what I did have was a very deep knowledge of dating culture and a sense of humour. That did the trick. 

Why do you think we enjoy reading about terrible dates? 
Bad dates have all the elements of an amazing story – people overcoming the odds, good versus evil, moments of embarrassment, love, marriage, devastating heartbreak and revenge. What’s also compelling about Bad Dates of Melbourne is that most of the stories happen in Victoria. They’re local, so what you’re reading is happening in the community around you and potentially to people in your circles. I think that provides a sense of excitement. Bad dates are all around us. Right here in our neighbourhoods!

In what ways do you think the dating scene in Australia differs from other dating scenes? Are we trying hard enough? Trying too hard?   
Dating in Australia is extremely casual and you’ll find many people opting for a quick coffee or hang out, as opposed to a formal date. This means those lovely romantic touchpoints you see in the movies – dinner dates, chocolates, roses, teddy bears or slow dances – just ain’t happening. Effort is low. Dating apps can be really wonderful – and I do recommend giving them a go – but going on so many dates makes meeting someone a little less special. We could all try a little harder.

What trends do you see shaping the dating scene for 2026? 
There was a viral article recently published by Chanté Joseph entitled Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now? that really struck a chord with a lot of women. Historically, having a boyfriend was a prestigious thing and being single was something looked down upon or pitied. That is changing and the narrative is now that women can be powerful and independent on their own and that, for many, the single life is better. I don’t think dating is ever going to fall completely out of vogue however we are going to see a massive increase of women who choose not to date altogether. 

What has running Bad Dates of Melbourne taught you about dating in Australia?
While Bad Dates of Melbourne mostly features stories that make you laugh, it also highlights a lack of respect in dating culture. While both men and women experience bad dates, women’s stories are much likelier to feature abuse – they are more serious and sometimes disturbing. There is not adequate support for women who find themselves in abusive or disrespectful situations and many men are not properly being educated as to what is respectful behaviour. Dating is a lot of fun and very romantic – but it also has an element of risk.

Your debut book How to Date Like a Dangerous Woman has just come out – what should we expect from it?  
How to Date Like a Dangerous Woman teaches women how to grow their self-esteem, become more confident and find a passion in life – and once you have that strong foundation, then we go into dating and relationships. As a young woman, I read many dating books where the focus was on men – what they wanted, how to make them like you, how to present yourself so you would be attractive to them and so on. This book is focused on what women want. It offers advice for women wanting to date but also wanting to maintain their independence and considers whether we want a relationship at all. Also, it’s funny! I’ve packed it with jokes so you’re not looking at a super serious academic tome. It’s light, entertaining and a joy to read. 

What do you hope people will take away from it?
I want people to walk away from it feeling more confident about their lives, with high self-esteem and having a passion or hobby that drives them. That, of course, puts someone in a position to have amazing relationships and date in a healthy manner. The goal of the book is to find love and be independent. Sometimes that’s romantic love – and there is plenty of advice on how to find that in the book, believe me – but sometimes it’s also love of yourself, your community and the world around you.

And finally: what’s your favourite romantic – or anti-romantic – book?   
He’s Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. I want to be clear I’m recommending the book, not the movie. This is one I used to refer back to when I was feeling unsure of myself or if I’d had a relationship that left me feeling wobbly. It helped me reclaim my confidence, as the authors really pump you up and remind you just how fabulous you are. That is a theme I took into my own book – I want whoever is reading it to feel like an absolute rockstar with the ability to take over the world. He’s Just Not That Into You is a bit dated now and I don’t necessarily endorse all the advice it offers. But I still think there’s a lot there to love and that it provides women who read it with a sense of control and power. I’m hoping my own book does the same.

Book your tickets to This Is Why I’m Single with Alita Brydon now.